We had such high hopes!!!
My husband and I spent the weekend in SF for the ballet and museums. Oh and I should mention we’re big time tiki bar fans and always try new places wherever we vacation. Though recommendations we received (from a well-respected tiki bartender) steered us *away* from Tonga Room at the Fairmont Hotel, we decided to try it anyway because it was in the neighborhood and served food.
We were bound to have a BAD idea at least once during the trip. THIS WAS A VERY. BAD. IDEA. Starting with… HORRIBLE food (cold, greasy, inedible.) The “Poke Tostadas” smelled like day old fish and were doused with mayo. Foul.
They have the worst tiki drinks I’ve ever had in my life. From our sampling it seems, the bartenders use virtually no alcohol OR embrace flavor. Look, I’m no mixologist, but even I could make a better tiki drink (blindfolded mind you) than we had.
No, I’m not done ranting yet.
The “music: (a live band, hence the $15 cover charge at the door) wasn’t just awful…. they were awful, Awful, AWFUL! A team of holdovers from another era played out-of-tune pop covers from the 1970’s while wearing Hilo Hattie shirts and FLOATING IN A BOAT… in the middle of a swimming pool that smelled like chlorine and mildew. I had nightmares about “Gilligan’s Island” for days after.
If that wasn’t bad enough, the wait staff was weary and clearly bored, the customers were mostly out-of-their-mind drunk tourists dancing badly right next to tables, and the carpets/furniture looked like it needed a deep cleaning.
Sure, it’s been around since the 40’s, but Tonga Room is way, WAY tired. The Fairmont should be ASHAMED of what they’ve let this place become.
Salt, Sweet, Spirits. 